There are almost 100 days until my college graduation. Yikes. Yeah, I know. And I'm still as clueless as to what I will do afterwards. (Right now it's between grad school, living at home forever, or purposely failing so I can stay at JMU another semester. I'll keep you updated on the result). But, even though I'm freaking out about what's next for me after JMU, I do have a list of things I've figured out along the way-- lessons, basically, of what I learned to do and what not to do, and what to never forget about growing up.
1. If I've had one glass of wine, it's almost guaranteed that another one will follow.
I'm not some wild, crazy college student that drinks every night of the week, but it's almost a scientific fact that once I drink a nice cold glass of Pinot Grigio, I will want another. Why? Because why not? Heck, I'm on my third one right now because I'm an adult and can do that. See, I'm making progress towards adulthood. You're welcome, parents. Waking up in the morning is terrible, but I feel a sense of responsibility whenever I sip on some vino.
2. Before college, I hated so many things that I now love.
Country music. Beer. Baseball players. College has given me an opportunity to figure out what I like and what I hate. I came in with so many preconceived notions about what I thought I liked. I wasn't budging on the things I hated then. I thought high school Hannah was who I was going to be forever, and there was no chance in hell that I could ever enjoy country music or the taste of a Natty Light (Ha that's funny because it's actually the worst beer, but I grew to appreciate its awfulness). But being around new people and new experiences showed me that there's room for me to grow into a different Hannah--but still someone I'm happy with.
3. Sunscreen is actually really important.
I'm 21. The best age you could ever be in my opinion. You feel invincible, young yet old enough to enjoy adulthood luxuries. That includes getting--wait for it--wrinkles. Okay, we all remember when we were younger whining to our mothers about not wanting to reapply that greasy, terrible sunblock to our faces ("Make sure you get your nose, Hannah!" is something my mother still says to me). Then once we got older, we wanted to get as tan as we possibly could to look hot and blonde and summery. But every time I look in the mirror, I notice those little hairline wrinkles starting to appear under my eyes. It's inevitable, but I value sunscreen so much more knowing I can never go back to 16-year-old skinned me.
4. I've never been in love even though I thought I was at the time.
If I could go back in time and tell myself the boys that I was going crazy about weren't really all that significant in my life, I would. I hope that wasn't a harsh way to put it, but it's like the overused cliche chicks tell their friends: use a breakup as a lesson or something sappy like that. Well, it's sorta true. I don't ever think about the guys from my freshman year or even last year. At the time, I was so heartbroken over something so tedious in the grand scheme of things. I thought it was the end of the world and I was never going to move on. And now I look back and think, why was I so upset? Here I am, moved on, and alive. If it was love, I think (and would hope) it would've been harder for me (and for that person) to let go and move on. I hope that love means not being able to stop thinking about that person and for it to work out in the end. Since that hasn't happened yet, I can't believe that my "love story" has even happened yet. (And to be quite honest, I don't really want it to. 21 is too young for that story to be written).
5. People are the most important part of my life.
Even people I don't know. People intrigue me so much (not in a creepy, stalker way, I promise). Friends, family-- I know they will be there for me no matter what and I'll be there for them. Their loyalty means so much to me. But what really makes me happy is seeing people be kind to others. That's why I like them. Knowing others have the same beliefs and values that I do about being nice to strangers, the needy, the helpless--that's what ignites true happiness inside of me. Without people, I wouldn't have grown into the college senior that I am today. I wouldn't have been able to express my gratitude towards good friends or admiration for random acts of kindness. I love meeting people from every part of my life and every part of my friends' lives. They help me grow and I'd like to think I help them, too. Without them, I don't know who I'd be.
Boom. 5 things I do know about myself. Even though I might not know where I'm headed, I do know where I've been. That's good enough for me.
Love,
A Girl Still Trying to Figure it Out
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